Photo credit: Justin

Happy Australia Day! And Happy The First Day Of The Lunar New Year!

Today is Australia Day. In the lead-up to this patriotic holiday, I quizzed some random and not-so-random Aussies about how to celebrate authentically, and the general consensus was that we should throw a snag or some prawns on the barbie (apparently, only Yanks throw shrimp on the barbie. That Paul Hogan…how thoughtful of him to create a catchphrase comprehensible to us Yanks!), work our way through a case of stubbies, and play some beach cricket. Sadly, Justin and I failed to prepare adequately: we have no sausages, no shrimp, no beer, and no understanding of cricket rules. In all honesty, we kind of stink at putting the “pat” in “expat.” Also, we’re sober.

In spite of our ill-preparation, there are still all sorts of entertainments available to us. South Bank boasts a huge celebration: there are movies, concerts, dance performances, and circus acts planned for the entire day. There will also be fireworks, and the theme for tonight’s show is “how Australians spend their leisure time.” I am curious to see how lawn bowling and Facebook will be illustrated in fuel, oxidizers, and colour.

People are also racing cockroaches at the Story Bridge Hotel. I was keen to race cockroaches, but not keen enough to catch my own cocky. Honestly, catching cockroaches makes me squeamish. Justin and I did find cane toads hiding in the pipes beneath the William Jolly Bridge Friday night, though. Cane toads are poisonous, and the poison excreted by them is considered a Class 1 drug under Australian drug laws. We just chased them for a while, making them hop and scramble for the nooks and crannies.

2009 marks the 150th anniversary of Queensland independance from New South Wales. 2009 is also the year of the Ox, and today is the first day of the Lunar New Year. When I was a Vietnamese-American schoolkid, I was always envious that Vietnamese-Vietnamese schoolkids got three days off for Têt while I still had to go to school. Twenty years on, I have to confess: I have plans to start a work project today. Justin is already working. Heresy, I tell you. Also, still sober.

Speaking of heresy, here is an awesome kind that really isn’t heresy at all. Two excerpts from Your Keys to Driving in Queensland, published by the Queensland Government:

(page 120)

and

(page 121)

Awesome, yes? Even more awesome is having your 4WD instructor shut someone down: “Bicyclists can’t take a full lane, can they? But what if they’re going real slow? Can’t you just nudge them off…?”

The answers, my friends, are yes, still can, and absolutely not. Now, if only the smugness and righteousness would create an invisible force field around us when riding in traffic.

C’est une baguette.

Une baguette n’est pas un french stick!

Justin and I went to the Northey Street Organic Market this morning. At this market, we purchased three small miracles: a crackly-crusted baguette, brown rice, and a cucumber that tasted like home.

This was almost too much AM AWESOMENESS, but then I finished my coffee.

I only wish I had thought of this first, because then I would have a giant pile of gold coins on which to recline, with soft pillow’s of grammatically correct smugness, painstakingly handsewn by Australian proofreader’s.

Speaking of morning awesomeness, there are EIGHT different types of mango currently in season in Oz. This is twice the number of types than were available back in November, and roughly eight times more mango than is available in Portland year-round. That’s like, eight times more awesomeness than I’m used to, at least in the category of mango.

[Evan via Sharing Machine]

Photo credit: Justin

Lies, damned lies, and statistics

We are five days into the new year. Here are some completely trivial stats for you to know! All statistics reported were collected during the period 03.01.09-04.01.09.

Number of kangaroos petted: 2
Number of koalas petted, but only on the bum per zookeeper’s instructions: 1
Number of saltwater crocodiles (salties), successfully spotted and identified: 6
Number of salties that were supposedly there to be spotted and identified: 8
Probability that Kim or Justin will spot the salty in the wild before the salty spots them: pick a number between low to bad
Number of mountains climbed: 1
Height of said mountain in meters: 253
Number of hours to climb said mountain: 1
Number of people who climbed said mountain in thongs: 5
Number of people who climbed said mountain in thongs that were us: 0
Number of people who might think that I’m referring to a foundation garment when I write “thongs”: 4
Number of people who are wrong; the Australian thong is the American flip flop: 4
Number of Australian men who wanted to talk about Barack Obama and what the next American presidency would look like: 2
Number of Australian men who confided that they had been cheering for Hillary: 1
Number of Australian men who then confessed that they wanted Hillary to win so that they could find out who else Bill might have been shagging on the side: 1

Photo credit: Justin

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