The coloured discs in question…

…are actually rice wafer pockets filled with sherbet. They melt on the tongue like a communion wafer minus the body of Christ but plus a Pixy Stix.

A Conversation In A Candy Store

Justin’s Mom points at a large glass jar of brightly-coloured, round-shaped discs.

Are those…condoms?

Justin’s Mom

I don’t think so.

Me

They look like condoms.

Justin’s Mom

Yes, but we’re in a candy store.

Me

…in a foreign country.

Justin’s Mom

OK. My guess is they’re diaphragms.

Me

Or maybe I should change the name of this blog to “Many good titles are succinct and give a mere suggestion of the content that follows, but I kind of suck at that so I will write this prolixity of a sentence that may or may not have anything to do with the content that actually follows but will have everything to do with what’s currently on my mind and I will call it my title THE END.”

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I’m thinking about changing the name of this blog to “The Great Sunset Picture Blog.”

Kingfisher Bay, Fraser Island

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Speaking of mothers

Mother’s Day, Natural Bridge, Springbrook National Park.

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Treasures for my mother.

I offer flowers that taste like honey,

and beetles that look like jewels.

Love,

Kim

These are very good for breakfast, especially with ice cream.

This recipe, + 2 tablespoons of cinnamon, whisked with the flour and salt.

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Why the Queensland Government Sent Us a Cheque, and Other Answers to Other Questions.

My mother raises a good question in the comments to my last post, and that question is: what the hell was I writing about anyway? Hi, Mom! You always ask good questions.

The answer is that Justin and I weren’t expecting to get a cheque from the Queensland Government, much less a cheque and a thank you letter. I was pretty stoked on the letter, because, well shit. Anna Bligh wanted to thank me for going to the effort of purchasing a water-efficient washing machine? That was special and I felt special, at least until Justin unsentimentally pointed out that it was just a form letter with a color signature. Now that I’m thinking about it a little harder, I guess the salutation should have tipped me off. But the buzz of feeling special! It was just so intoxicating. After the buzz wore off but while I was still feeling petulant, I posted the photo and some nonsense. It was rather silly, and so was I.

Since I’m being serious today, I suppose I could also address a few indirectly asked questions from the Internet. According to WordPress, folks occasionally find this blog by querying the terms “how to say in vietnamese”, followed by “rabbit”, “kitten”, “hi mom”, or “condom”. What they get is this post. It’s probably not what they were expecting.

Before I present my simple pronunciation guide though, a warning: I have never studied Vietnamese formally. English is my primary language, but it was a second language first. Also, I grew up in Texas.

rabbit, con thỏ: pronounced “kahn taw??” If a Vietnamese speaker looks at you quizzically, it helps to repeat yourself while miming a rabbit hopping.

kitten, con mèo bé: pronounced “kahn mew baeiou?!” Before you choke trying to pronounce the last phoneme, you should probably know “baeiou?!” rhymes with an Aussie-inflected “yea.” with a “buh” sound preceding the “yea.” Again, miming will help. Also, did I mention that sometimes, when Ah speak English, Ah drawl?

hi mom, chào má: pronounced “hi mom”, or alternatively “ciao ma?”

condom, bao dương vật: ok, I still don’t know. I think the first Vietnamese word translates as “bag,” so I’m guessing that the remaining Vietnamese translates as “for your pecker.” Miming would probably be embarassing in this situation. Anyway, my mother says it’s a communist word.